Tuesday, October 10, 2006


If you try and think of it, the world you've been expecting to have, the life you wanted to achieve, the incidents you thought that you want to have is never meant to be yours.
I dont know if it is just me or everything i seen to be "imagining" or "dreaming" of never seem to happen. There is some sort of a jinx that occurs that keeps me for letting me do this that i am supposed to do or what i really want to do. I have so much things in my mind that i want to have or to happen but there is always something that keeps me in so much distance on what i wanted to achieve. Am i really supposed not be albe to put in actions what i thought for me to do? There are just something that are no longer of our reach, there is no way for us to go beyond that boundary.

I hate to think that dreams are never meant to happen.

But it keeps on repeating everytime

and it's killing me inside.

Saturday, October 07, 2006


That was the title of our research project to be submitted a long time ago. It had taken so much of my energy and time. But it was fun working with Denib and Martin, my coeaters. Every time we would go out we will eat at some place and waste our fund for food trip and that, basically was the essence of our project.

The project made me go crazy over my missed works and notes. But I enjoyed the stress of the work. I began to be close with my team, with Denib serving as a really caring brother figure and Martin as another comedy bro. We just cram for our research without taking into consideration that the greatest amount of fund was allot for our project. Now, we still are in the verge of cramming. Hoping that our new principal, Dra. DivineLinda Dela Cruz will be excusing us from our classes for our senseless research.

It was so much work but it really was worth the hassle.

A Fight over a CLICHÉ

since when did the words " i love you" become a cliche?

it was just lately that i got my heart pretty damn broken.. It was because of saying the words I have valued so much to "him." i was hoping for him to reply the same words but instead I heard a heartbreaking response. "Anu ba yan? Nagiging cliche na yan sa kakasabi mo nyan.. araw araw na lang." It was really hard for me to try and hide the hurt so instead i sat on the floor and covered my face, I didnt notice that tears were already filling my eyes..

He suddenly approached me since we already have to go and eat.. I saw tears and asked me what those tears are for.. I never wanted him to know that i cried because of him.. So once again, i made an excuse and a lame one, i could say (i told him that it was just because i was just hungry). So we went to the cafeteria, for the both of us to buy some snacks. I had an excuse that i need to go the CR and i somehow took so much time that he already was done buying. So i didnt buy food and made another excuse that i was no longer hungry. Still, i hid the hurt and tried to continue my so called happy day.

So i left school for our research project. He was angry with me for letting him wait for 2 hours long.. when he was suppose to go home earlier.. either ways he left when it was only 5 minutes for me to arrive. The next day arrived with the both of us ignoring each other.. i left school for research without holding any conversation with him.. So there, the day went on still with the both of us ignoring each other.. We only begun to converse when he approached me.. however, I was in no mood to have another whatever.. so we just talked about nothing in particular and we then made bati.

I still had no guts to tell him about the cliché but it really was bothering me…

So yesterday night, I told him through text since I know I would break down to tears if I tell it in person… I asked him if it was for real and he told me it was… It was more difficult than ever.. “Lahat ng bagay na wawalang halaga pag sobrang nagagamit.” That was his reply… I asked him if I already am cliché for him for I always was there for him.. He told me I was not.. but I was still bothered.. I let out a few harsh words that began our fight… It was sad, having a fight over a cliché.. It ended with me mistaking what he said. He just meant that I could say that I love him even with out those silly words.

Friday, September 29, 2006


here i am trying to get a hang of the 3 straight days of living without electricity..
i've been trying so hard to find a computer shop wherein i can entertain myself since i grew tired from playing pusoy dos with my dad. I am in so much search for those who have electricity so i can have cellphone charged. And this, basically is the fruit of my search for electricty.

The start of my "delubyo" was Thursday (September 28) where i didnt expect for a brown out to occur. How ever i still was fine for i still have 4 batt charged celphone and a fully charged batt gameboy that i have borrowed from my boyfriend. My misfortune happened when my mom's students came and used the gameboy same through with my other siblings and i barely had the chance to play coz when i was about to use it, guess what??! It longer can hold a one good game. my sister then used my phone without asking for permission and when i got a hold of it.. it only has 2 bars!! Little did i know that the blackout will hold for that long!!! Ang i was basically growing nuts over mylife without anything! shucks! buti na lang may tubig!! And we only have water from 7 pm - 7am. T.T Any wasys back to my story, later on, my 2 bar phone ran out of its charge and there... i start to go loka.. I still have a day for unlimited text and i dont have charge for me to be able to use it. Aside from the fact that there was really no signal.. sayang unli ko!!

The next day, i tried to answer my calculus worksheet and to my surprise, i left my notebook at school and i barely have anything left in my head about derivatives! so.. i was left to keep on asking my brother to teach me in my assignment.. but hey... he is in no mood to do so..

So i was stuck once again to playing pusoy dos and sleeping.. i even wasted my time, entertain myself by putting make up on my sister's face and she did the same with mine. That must be the result of super boredom on no electricity day.

The next day.. Saturday (today)

I went to school to get my calculus and journalism notebook so i can have something to do.. And have my celphone chaged if ever there is electricity in school.. but there's none anyways..
To my surprise, It was the last day of my mtap classes.. so i took the chance to waste my time at t least learn something from Maam Serra.. so now i am here.. in a computer shop, out of desperation i asked the owner if he could have my mobile charged.. and wow!! he did! sbt i really am worried coz some people may go and get my celphone... hope not..

so that's it..

tc!! bloggers!

i hope for elecricity soon!!! :)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Barkada for keeps


Wednesday, September 13, 2006

There is no such thing as a perfect love... ?

Just a while ago a heard my classmate Kat, saying how she basically wonders about people writing about love as if they have experienced a perfect love which is technically impossible.

Coming from someone who is in love, i could say that there really is no such thing as a perfect realationship, there always will be arguments flaws and failures. But the term "perfect" in love must be refering to a feeling that you'll only experience when you are together with you're love one. It is only with that person you can show you're true color, feelings. And there you'll feel content. Love is never meant for someone who just want the happiness in love, sometimes when you love, you'll feel hatred, you'll feel jealousy, you'll feel deprived of something you desire and i could say that there comes in the beauty of love. You'll love someone even more when you have gone through many trials. Love is never meant to be pearfect, It's meant to make you feel better.

There's nothing so bad about falling in love at such a young age, who knows, it might be the love that is meant for you forever.

I talk so much about mushiness,whaaaii i can't believe it is me.. :))

Monday, September 11, 2006

A question I wish I could answer

I have always wondered why people always get so intrigue over other's life or misfortune. Is there a need for gossip? Or does intrigues makes you feel better? Life really is so obscure. I wont be a hypocrite and say that i haven't tried meddling over some peoples life. I did have experiences regarding talking about other's behind their backs and being talked about at the same time. Have you ever wonder how hard it is to be in a position wherein you dont know who are those that you can trust? Have you ever wonder or felt how it is to be backstabbed?

I already did, it hurts more than you could ever think of. When i was able to experience this, and there to think of the little things i have done before. This could be karma. I already had the hang of enjoy talking about others lives and try to make it as a form of entertainment. I always try not no make any comment with every gossip i hear. GOSSIPS ARE NOT ALWAYS TRUE. And gossips may ruin other people's lives.

And that basically is something i would like to share if ever someone is reading this. I know this might be pointless for others but it's just a mere opinion for someone who experienced the drama.


Thursday, July 27, 2006

A DramA QueEn's entry

At some point in our life we experience to have our own struggles. Struggles, where in smiles won’t do you any good, and laughter is no cure. It’s so hard to explain how things starts to get complex every time you grow older and you have to be mature on handling things that come your way. Life sometimes gets so vague; it is so obscure I longer want to think about it. There is so much stress and sometimes it’s too much for me to even manage. Stress in your family, stress at school, stress regarding your plans, stress because of fights, stress because of arguments, stress because of problems, stress because you can’t be decided on what you want and blahdiblahdiblah. Stress itself is already a stress. I get things all rumbled in my head and I can’t get a way straighten things up or at least get a grip on these things bothering me. It’s so hard to talk about something that’s bothering you. It’s so hard to show someone you love that you are already hurting so much. It’s so hard to pretend that I will even do any better. Everything seems so hard for me. It is so hard to be me.

I know being such a drama queen won’t do me any good. I may be experiencing so much aching but compare it to those have the world on their back. What do my problems compare to those they have? I better be happy I have people who make me smile and make my day bright. I better be happy I have these things going through my head for all I know maybe tomorrow it will all be gone. I just think to much… Thinking about all those stresses will make you go nuts… Things will always go right if you want it to go right..

It may be so hard to be me but dude, I’m so lucky I am me.